“I am starting a new journey” I tell myself this to have a positive outlook, a sense of trying to understand my situation. July and beyond is all about recovery and as my therapist, Moon says “My care is only about focusing on me, it’s time to be selfish.” To my dismay I’ve never really done that, Sure I spent 4 years in active therapy before this, but to be honest I’ve just never been with myself.
My life had been trying to fit the box I thought everyone needed or wanted me to be and now it’s just me or what’s left of me, in a residential recovery program in Laguna beach after a dark 7 month depressive state that all spiraled after the 4th of July.
I am trying to unpack so much and it feels like a wave about to crash over me, but I know God wants me here, right now. Through all the therapies and medications — even a yoga class. I know God is with me and cheering me on.
Even in this darkness I feel more clarity in myself that I don’t know if I have ever felt before, what a joy that is.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out, visited, and sent flowers, the support has meant to the world to me in this time.
I hope this brings hope to everyone that even in the darkest moments, we aren’t alone.
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” —Philippians 1:6
Thank you 🙂
Anastasia Elan 
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